Six month update, part 1

My daughter is nearly 6 months old. I can't believe the last 6 months have gone by so fast! In the interest of a bit of record-keeping, I am going to summarize those months here.

July, 2006
Enter Z! At 6:15am on July 1st! She wasted no time. We have joked that she really wanted her doctor to deliver her, because she was born ~2 hours before he was leaving town for 4th of July vacation. I was glad of this, because I didn't want a doctor that I wasn't familiar with delivering my baby. It all worked out.

We spent the customary time in the hospital. That was heaven compared with coming home. It was the first time either my husband or I had put a baby in a carseat. We had no idea what was going on. We came home in a daze. I was already sleep-deprived. That first night home from the hospital was the worst. I was in such a state I couldn't sleep for more than about 30 minutes at a time. I would put Z down next to me after feeding her, and then lie awake just knowing that she would wake up any minute hungry again. It drove me nearly insane. My husband isn't too good at waking up in the middle of the night, and at one point that night he was shushing me like a newborn. I had had it at that point and I cried even harder. I spent a lot of those first few days at home crying. I called my mom and cried, and I even cried to my dad on the phone, which I never do. There was so much crying.

Then my mom came and saved us. She cooked and cleaned and held the baby while I slept. Moms really know their stuff. By the time she left we had things much more under control. Sleep was a very precious commodity that first month. But we made it through the first visitors and all was ok. Looking back now I can hardly believe she was so tiny! And, I've got the amnesia setting in, because I can't exactly remember the hardships. I remember that it was very tough and while I was there I swore I'd never have another child. But it is fading... and I'm starting to think more kids would be absolutely wonderful...

August, 2006
The rest of the family came during this month. I also had to get ready for a conference! I made a poster, with copious amounts of my husband's help. I basically put all the things that needed to be on the poster there, and he arranged them and made it look pretty. He's my "art director". The poster was a success! I celebrated my birthday as well, and my father-in-law made me a delicious cake.

August was the least eventful month. Nothing much else happened. Our baby just kept growing and growing. I think this was the month that we figured out breastfeeding (yes it took us that long!). Z began sleeping longer and we started getting more sleep.

September, 2006
In September we took our first overnight trip! We went to Grand Teton National Park and stayed at the research station there for me to present my master's work at a park colloquium. We were there two nights. We were nervous before leaving, but Z slept like an angel. At that point she was waking up twice a night for food, and I thought that sleeping somewhere different would lead to more frequent wakings, but it was not so! She slept wonderfully, and hence mommy and daddy did too. It was such a fun trip!

Otherwise during September we focused on getting Z on a good sleep schedule - including naps. It took a bit of work, but I think by the end of the month she was taking fairly good naps with no crying involved. That way I could finish my thesis and dad could work on his schoolwork.

Picture of the week - Dec 17

This picture is from the Archie Bray Foundation grounds in Helena, MT. It is the inside of one of the old beehive kilns. One of our friends works at the Bray part-time, and we went there and poked around the grounds last February. It was super cool! There are some really weird sculptures and such. It is a really neat artsy place.

Dicked around

I have a couple of things I want to post about, but I'll focus on the most recent first.

Yesterday we went out to buy a new DVD player, since our ~3-yr-old one is crapping out. We went to one of the only media stores in town - a local business (not a big-box store). All three of us went, and we looked at the DVD players and we found the one we wanted, but it had no price sticker on it. This place is basically a showroom, so there aren't boxes there that you can just take to a cash register. So, we stood around waiting for a salesperson to help us. Many other people were being helped. We waited. New people came in, stood right next to us, and got helped. None of the salespeople stopped to help the young couple with a baby.

We stood around for 10 to 15 minutes while others around us got helped. Neither of us was in the mood to push ourselves on the salespeople - feeling as if it is their job to sell to us. However, none of them wanted to deal with us. After about 15 minutes we got annoyed and walked out. I was royally pissed off! We must have talked for the next 20 minutes about how the salespeople were perfectly willing to help the customers who looked like they were ready to spend hundreds of dollars as opposed to a maximum of 100 dollars, and who didn't have any babies in tow. I was even saying, "So much for supporting local businesses!" Usually I attempt to support the smaller locals instead of the big-box stores. I do go to Target quite often, but we try to go to the locally-owned grocery stores, and we go to the local butcher shop, etc. But the electronics store is one local business that I am NEVER patronizing. Seldom have I felt so discriminated against.

Arrgh!

Blogger beta is having some problems with loading pictures into the sidebar, so no picture of the week on my blog this week. RRRRR

Mistress K

I had my thesis defense on Friday, and I passed. So now I guess I have a master's degree. Actually I won't technically have it until May. Because I defended late, I have to wait and graduate in the spring semester. I have some things to edit in my document, and then I have to turn it in to the grad college by January 18. I'm on the home stretch!

I've thought a little bit about what I'm going to do with my blog now that I'm not going to be in graduate school anymore. I'm not going directly into a PhD program - I am taking some much-needed time off. So, the title of my blog won't apply anymore! My husband suggested I should keep writing in this blog, and write about issues other grad students have. A possibility. Or I could switch blogs and write about something else. I'm not sure!

Picture of the Week Dec 10

Happy Holidays! Here is our tree. This picture is hot off the press... I just took it 10 minutes ago. We got our tree yesterday and it has lights and a few ornaments, not many yet. Ahhh, christmas.

I made this!

I made this skirt - my first without following a pattern. It didn't take me too long, but it is kind of thrown together. Making all the panels the same length was difficult. Next time I'm going to try a patchwork skirt with squares instead of lengthwise panels. That might be a bit easier. I still think it looks cool! I'm wearing it for my defense tomorrow.

"We The Living"

This morning I finished it. I have to say that it was one of the most depressing books I've read thus far. I have a funny love-hate relationship with Ayn Rand. I don't think I'll be reading any more of her fiction.

I think Rand is a fabulous writer. At least, I found 'We The Living' to be well written and engrossing. There were times I couldn't put it down. I have also read 'Atlas Shrugged', and parts of that novel were also engrossing, although I found it got quite boring at times. With both books I found I was compelled not by what Rand would probably want her readers to be compelled by, but by the somewhat secondary plots. I found myself absolutely hating 'Atlas Shrugged' but being driven to keep reading in order to find out what happened between Dagny, Rearden and Galt. A similar thing happened in 'We The Living' between Kira, Leo and Andrei. I'd find myself hungry to find out what happened next in their love-lives, and when I found out I would often scream and throw the book onto the floor. I was engulfed in the love in those two books, which always seemed secondary to Rand's main points, and her philosophy, which is the reason so many people like her work. And the love never failed to let me down. I remember being so upset when Dagny left Rearden for Galt. I was terribly upset when Kira kept choosing Leo even when he obviously no longer cared for her or about her, while Andrei had given her his heart so freely. Kira was drawn to Leo with an overpowering love that could not be stopped, and it was her downfall. She should have seen it!!!!! That is what my mind kept screaming through almost the entire novel. She should have seen Leo for what he was and Andrei for what he was. She should have chosen more wisely! Yet, love is blind. But oh, so depressing.

I didn't particularly enjoy 'We The Living', as I didn't enjoy 'Atlas Shrugged'. I don't like reading Ayn Rand and I won't do it any more. Yet I can see where she is a great writer. Her books do stress me though! I don't want to scream at any more books.

Picture of the week Dec 3

This week's pic is of my beautiful baby. Yes it's a funny picture. It's difficult to get a picture of her sticking her tongue out. She turned 5 months old on the 1st!

Weight issues

My baby is 5 months old and I haven't lost my pregnancy weight. I've lost some, but not nearly all of it. It is my fault I'm not exercising enough. I understand that. But I am (and have been for a while now) a little upset at practically everything I've read that says that breastfeeding moms lose their pregnancy weight faster than non-breastfeeding moms. Well, I'm breastfeeding, and I was exclusively breastfeeding until a short time ago, and that didn't help me at all. Other things I read suggested that breastfeeding moms would lose most of their pregnancy weight by 6 weeks. Hah! I had lost about 10 pounds by 6 weeks. That was mostly baby and placenta. What is up with all this literature telling me that I should have lost those pounds easily and about 4 months ago? I don't know.

We're looking at gym membership for Christmas. A real gym, not just the university gym. A place where they have childcare. I really enjoy working out with my husband and maybe gym membership would give us this chance. I've been working out on my own since my daughter was born, and while it is fun and satisfying, it's not helping me shed pounds. When we were undergrads my husband and I worked out together all the time, and that kept us both fit and happy. Hopefully we can become a fit and happy family all together.

No time!

I'm trying to finish up corrections on my thesis, and get ready for my defense. I have one week from Friday. I'm getting nervous about my talk - I still have to put part of it together. It is good that I have already given several talks about my work, so I have intro and methods parts finished. But I have to figure out how to make my discussion and my summary really kick ass.

I have spent so much time in the past two weeks working on my summary figure. I hope it is going to turn out spectacular. I just had to re-do it this morning to put in even more data, but this should be the last time I have to change big things.

I also made an appointment with the lady at the graduate school who goes over formatting. But that is going to be the Monday after my defense. I can't deal with more before! I'm already leaving the house messy.

On a completely different note, I am enjoying this winter so far. Just in the past two weeks it has gone from mild fall to chilly winter! The high today is not supposed to break 10 above zero. I walked to work yesterday morning through snow on the ground and the brisk air was invigorating. I'm happier than last year because (1) our house is much better insulated than the place we lived last year, so I'm warmer, and (2) I am not having morning sickness every day, which really put a damper on the holdiays last year. I'm looking forward to enjoying baking for Christmas this year! And decorating the tree, and wrapping presents for my baby, etc. Alltogether this year is much more fun.

Pie picture

I promised a picture of my lemon meringue pie. It was only beautiful until it cooled. Then my meringue shrank. Everyone suggested I didn't use enough. I'll try again sometime.

Picture of the week Nov 27

This picture, taken this past July 30, is of the fire weather from the Paradise Complex wildfire in the Paradise Valley, MT. We actually drove through the Paradise Valley the next day down to Yellowstone, and the smoke was fairly bad. In a few spots we could see flames. The smoke in Bozeman got much worse around Labor Day, and I have pictures of that too which I will post later.

Happy 100th post!

Wow! 100 posts in about 2 years. I started this blog back in November of 2004. It seems like so long since then! I've gone through a pregnancy and 4.5 months of my daughter's life. I've also passed my comps and written my thesis. Reading my old blogs is a trip!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I made a lemon meringue pie for the first time ever this year. I will post a picture of it later because it is beautiful.

Have a nice holiday, everyone!

Scheduled

My thesis defense is scheduled. I have 17 days to prepare. I still have to fix my summary figure and my discussion a little. And practice the talk.

Now I have to care for my baby. What's new??

Picture of the Week - Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving week! I hope you all have wonderful plans for the holiday. We are having dinner here at our house with two of our best friends. And our daughter gets some babyfood sweet potatoes. Mmmm.
This week's picture is me reading a paper by our cozy fireplace - in our previous house. This time of year we really miss the fireplace.

Funny Labor & Delivery Anecdote

As I promised...

Our daughter Z was born at 6:15 in the morning after a night at the hospital. We had all previously agreed that Danny would cut the cord. So the doctor gave Danny the scissors and he cut the cord. Then the doctor continued with the rest of the birthing process. Danny still had the scissors and he asked the doctor what he should do with them. "Just throw them on the floor", was the doctor's reply. Danny looked down and saw other flotsam and jetsam from delivery on the floor, and obviously they scrub those delivery rooms pretty well. So he did throw the scissors on the floor. But not until after considering that he had bare feet, and hadn't been wearing his shoes since before midnight!

We laughed at this later that day and again when we told my mom.

I should be asleep

Yes my bedtime is significantly earlier than it was when I was not a mommy. Actually, that is a lie. I just tend to go to bed early. I have for my whole life practically.

I drank coffee this afternoon, which is turning out to be a big mistake. I am tired but not sleepy! AAGH! Sleep is precious and I'm missing it!

Tomorrow... funny labor anecdote. I promise!

Hmmm...

For those of you with keen eyes, you will notice that the Picture of the Week on my sidebar is not the same picture as the one in my blog text. They are *almost* the same though!

Picture of the Week

I started using Blogger beta and you can add pictures to your blog super easy, so I've added a Picture of the Week. I'll post it too, so readers who use readers (heh) can see it.

This week's picture is of Swan Lake in Grand Teton National Park. Taken by Danny.

New look, new thoughts

I hate it when people give up their blogs for a long time and then start posting again. Wait... That's what I'm doing! To those of you who might have me on Google Reader or Bloglines or another reader, I apologize for the long absence.

For me, it has been impossible to write these past few months. Learning how to get along with my child has taken up most of my time. Then there was/is that thesis I have to turn in. I am giving it to my committee members tomorrow! Which means my defense is coming up. I'm only getting a Master's but I still have to do all this stuff. Thankfully it is almost over.

Sure there are tons of things to post about when you have a new baby! But who really wants to sit down at the computer and write about something when you could be either hanging out with said baby, or taking care of the myriad other things that don't get much attention when you are a new mom (e.g. house cleaning, dishes, husband, self). Instead of posting I had to work on my thesis. Now that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I want to post again. So I will. And if you are still reading my blog after the hiatus, THANK YOU!

Everything has changed

We had a gorgeous baby girl born on Saturday, July 1st at 6:15 in the morning. And she is the reason I haven't blogged since then. But she's a good reason. This is from the day she was born. She looks a lot older now that she's two months already!

So many things have happened in the last two months! I don't even have time to recap. I am immersed in my kid and my thesis. I have to have the draft completed by Monday the 11th (my own deadline) to get it to my advisor. I'm giving her over two weeks with it, then I'm getting it to the rest of my committee. I want to defend in November, so I'm hoping this is enough time for them. I still have to set the actual date for my defense, which I'm going to do next week.

In other news, I successfully did a poster at AMQUA when my baby was 6 weeks old. It was not a fiasco! It went really well. And I went to see a couple of talks including Bill Ruddiman's talk about his anthropogenic greenhouse hypothesis, while my husband hung out with our daughter in the lobby.

Now I'm keeping a baby book after deciding not to keep one and then changing my mind about a week ago. My mom suggested I keep one to write down interesting baby stuff in, and at first I thought it was not my thing. Then I realized that I was already forgetting stuff about the first weeks of having a newborn. Then I figured it was a good idea. And we've been taking oodles of pictures of course.

More to come in the future. I promise!!!

Trying to avoid work

It is after 3pm and I haven't done too much in the way of work yet today. I feel like I'm trying to avoid it even though I keep telling myself I'm not. Why?

I have a good chunk of thesis written. This week I finished the two gruesome tables I had to include. Just today I DID install Adobe on my computer so that I can make my figures. I have a list in front of me of the figures I need. This week I also finished the results section. Now on to the discussion. Which is what I think I am avoiding writing. That and one more section of my introduction that I don't want to write. I must get to it though! I must overcome!

In my procrastination I started reading thehomelessguy's blog (linked from She Falters' blog). I like it! It reminded me of times I've been confronted by homeless people. Most of the time I'm pretty leery of homeless people because there were many crazy ones where I grew up that were just scary and young women wanted to stay far away from them. But there were a few times when I got to know a homeless person a little. One guy I met in Laramie, WY, played the balalaika. And I have a sneaky feeling that one of my former employers is now homeless or close to it. He was my best friend for a while, I knew him pretty well. I hope he is ok.

Finished! (with my book)

Yay! On Sunday afternoon I finished War and Peace. It was a nice experience in my life. I believe that my favorite quote (at least that I can think of) is the one I posted before. Yesterday afternoon I picked up Skeleton Crew and read The Mist, a story I hadn't ever read before (I've had the book for years but hadn't read every story). I got completely sucked in and read the whole 155 page story in one sitting. It was really creepy outside too - thunderstorms and rain. That always makes King more intense.

I've read a lot of Stephen King in my life; the last book of his I read was Bag of Bones, around December 2004. Incedentally, that book scared the daylights out of me. But, after not having read him for a while, it was nice to get involved in a story of his style. I love the way he writes. I know it is probably simplistic and too mainstream for literature lovers, but I like it.

Life

"We imagine that when we are thrown out of our accustomed grooves that all is lost, but it is only then that what is new and good begins."

-- Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

I love this book. It has to be one of my all-time favorites. It has taken me quite a while to complete it. I'm actually not done yet, I still have about 100 pages left. But if you know War and Peace, I'm super close to finishing. Perhaps I will finish before I give birth...

I *heart* friends

Did you ever have one of those days when all of your friends seemed to email you at approximately the same time? I'm talking about the friends that aren't in the same geographical area as you, the old friends. I had so much fun today replying to emails and thinking about my old friends. One might even be moving somewhere close to me within the next year or so maybe!

One of my friends from here got back yesterday from a visit to her parents, and she stopped by to chat for a while. I've really been missing the girl time lately. I spend lots of time with my husband and no kidding I love it, but lately I've been needing to hang with girls a little. Probably this impending motherhood thing. So that was really nice.

Back to writing thesis

I've been playing around with data some more, so no actual writing has gotten done in about 1 week. I have a good methods seciton done, and most of an introduction, and background. I'm feeling good about what I've written so far and what I still have to write. I just got done meeting with my advisor and looking at my pollen data. I have just a teeny bit more data analysis to do before I can look at it all and write the story. I'm pretty confident that I can do that well too, without too much hassle. My data looks pretty interesting.

I must say this now - there are some times when I absolutely love my advisor. Today I asked how different my actual thesis should be from the pub that I'm writing it for. She says, "no different, try to make them as much the same as possible. Doesn't the grad school offer a publication option?" No, our grad school does not offer a publication option. But I don't have to explain every laboratory method in detail, I can cite others that actually explain that sort of thing. And my thesis doesn't have to be ultra-long. Ah, sometimes my advisor really is cool. Plus, as I was just ruminating over on my walk to my office, she has been pretty supportive of my pregnancy. She's not overly excited, but she hasn't given me any shit about pregnancy things, or even scheduling things after baby. For example, there is a workshop at Grand Teton National Park that my work should be presented at, coming up on September 19-20. One of us should really go because we got all our funding from the Park and from the other "entity" running the workshop. She asked me today if I think I'll be up to going. I said yes, but with the caveat that I must take my husband and baby. She says that's cool, I should just talk to the lady organizing the workshop and let her know what's going on. She even said maybe I'll get the top-of-the-line accomodations. So, I'm feeling blessed right now.

I am off to make a to-do checklist for myself and see about getting some food. My baby is dropping into my pelvis so there is definitely more room in my tummy for food now. Sometimes it's really awkward to eat because the baby is so squirmy though! It is such a weird feeling! Less than 4 weeks now!

Countdown!

It's time to start the clocks. The due date is in approximately 5 weeks. Babies can come without hesitation within 2 weeks of the due date. This means I could "go" safely starting the 23rd of this month. Aah!

My Dicentra spectabilis

This weekend we did get to go to the nursery, and I got a bleeding heart! Here it is. No blooms, and it probably won't bloom this year, but next year it will.

We also got some tomato plants and some seeds. The seeds won't come up for a while, but that's ok. We're not sure when we're going to be in the hospital, and who will water our plants while we're there. I suppose D could come home to water them. That might be silly though. I guess we'll hope for rain.

We just got back from shoe shopping and treats. We bought D some Birkenstocks! These are his first expensive shoes. Maybe in his whole life! The most expensive he's had before are $40 Chuck's. We've been getting the super cheap $5 "fakenstocks" from WalMart for the past few years, but they wear out in a month or so. The ones he had prior to this shopping trip lasted 3 months total, and yesterday the entire "rubber" sole came off and started flapping around. He's been afraid of losing an expensive pair of shoes in the past, but he's never lost a pair of shoes in his life. So we went with the good-investment shoes. I love my Birks, and now he gets to start loving his. How cute!

We also had treats, and I had a huge rootbeer float! MMMMMMMM! I haven't had a rootbeer float in a few years! It was sooo good. D had this cool concoction that is basically an italian soda with ice cream instead of ice. So kind of like a rootbeer float but whatever flavor you want. He had orange, and he said it was good. My baby must be enjoying that rootbeer and ice cream now because it's squirming all over the place. Heh.

References

I was just working on compiling all my references in one file. I don't have any cool software like EndNote, so I'm just putting them all into Excel. I have lots! It's nice to get them all in one place. I needed it earlier this year when I was writing a progress report. Oh well. Now I have the list for the future.

I'm starting to write my thesis! This references thing was part of that. I don't have much done so far, and this afternoon I get to learn how to process pollen data. I'll be making graphics and stuff like that along with writing for the next couple of weeks. I also have to put together a poster for AMQUA, but that shouldn't take too long. I spent so much of this last semester talking about my charcoal data that I think I can make a poster in a jiffy. I'll have pollen graphs to add to it which will be cool. That's the last step before I can actually come up with conclusions! Yippee!

It is so nice to have the internet at home! I'm actually at home right now, wow! If any of you enjoy "modern rock" check out Woxy. You have to be a member to get the high-quality stream but it's worth it so far. Woxy is cool. There's my shameless advertising.

This weekend hopefully we're going to fix up a bit of garden by our patio. There are a couple of plants growing there now, and we wanted to add some tomato seeds. Last year we grew a tomato plant in the ground and it succeeded. I really want to get a bleeding heart plant for out there. We had one where I grew up next to our deck, and every year it grew and it was huge by the time we moved out! It is supposed to be nice and warm this weekend so hopefully we can go to the nursery and buy some plant stuff! That's always been one of my favorite things about summer.

Working from home

Ahh, this is the life. Getting some academic work done from the home office. I haven't had internet at home for a veeeery long time. I've never ever had speedy internet at home, in the past it was always dial-up. So this is a new thing for me.

This morning I finished my own abstract for the upcoming AMQUA meeting in August. I sent it off to my advisor (co-author) and she emailed me back in minutes saying it was good to submit and I could register. It's really cool to have an email-responsive advisor. She's the type who checks her email every 5 minutes while she's sitting at her computer, so responses from her are super fast. Now that I have email at home though, she can get in touch with me more often. I guess it's a two-edged sword.

Now I have to walk up to school to take my husband some lunch and do a few things there. Then it's back here for some cleaning and organizing and maybe some more academic work. I have some data processing to do and then I have to put together the AMQUA poster. And writing my thesis!

HOT!

I'm taking a short break from counting pollen to put my feet up and eat some applesauce. It's been in the 80s here for the past couple of days, and I'm starting to swell. Ick. It's not too bad, but I can feel it in my hands and feet. I could really use a nap right now too, but I've got to stick it out through two more slides. Not so bad.

I'm looking out the window right now and it is so beautiful outside that I don't want to stay in!

Here is a really pretty picture for those of you that enjoy pretty pictures. It's from last summer.

Back? Maybe

This semester was really busy, and I wanted to get things done so blogging fell by the wayside. Pretty soon we'll be getting internet at our house, so I will probably post more. I've been thinking about it. Since March we've moved to Family Housing. It's super nice here, we're in a 3-bedroom townhouse-type house. It's taken a while to set up, and it's still not finished. There is still some organization needed, but it'll get there. This past weekend we sort of fixed up the new baby's room. We don't have much furniture yet (no crib, etc.) but we do have a dresser and a rocking chair. I unpacked my old stuffed animals and put them in hammocks which is pretty cute. And we washed all the baby clothes we have so they're all ready and we don't have to think about that anymore. It seems like we're set on clothes for the first few months, until it gets cold.

I'm well on my way to finishing my masters. I'll be done counting pollen this month. Then I have data analysis and writing. I've moved much of my stuff home to the "office" there, and that's where I'll be writing. It should be good, I've always liked working from home, and writing seems easier there.

Things seem to be going well with the baby. I'm getting kicked and punched all the time (right now in fact). It's been fun, and we're both looking forward to having it "outside" me.

Emotional Crumminess

I'm feeling like I really need to post about this (weird!)...

At the end of last summer I posted about telling the new grad student how the lab is. Turns out she just recently got an email from a prospective grad student with questions about the lab. So, she wrote her back and told her what she thinks about the situation here. She was truthful, and I thought she wasn't very harsh at all (she let me see her reply email). Well, apparently she was talking to a couple of our lab-mates yesterday and they yelled at her for being so truthful. They made her feel so bad that she wrote back to the prospective grad student and told her to ask the rest of us (now I have an email to respond to).

I am a little angry because I read her reply email and I thought it was truthful and straightforward without being rude. I feel strongly about telling new and prospective grad students the truth. Why doesn't everyone? Why should new students be "buttered up"? Just to get them to come to your University? Rrrrrr.

This semester hasn't seen much blogging

I'm sick with a bad cold right now, so I'm sitting here staring at the computer instead of staring through a microscope at pollen. It doesn't feel much better on the eyes. My monitor stinks - I really need a new computer. The one I'm using is old and fryed.

Anyway, there hasn't been much time for blogging in my life lately. I don't have a hugely hectic schedule at school, but during most of my downtime (i.e. not in class or teaching lab) I am counting pollen. It is going well so far. I've mastered the common types in my area (diploxylon pine and artemisia are the big ones, then there are some chenopods, spruce, fir, sometimes a tubuliflorae). I have seen some neato grains, like a linguliflorae, and a caryophyllaceae. I've seen some alder too, which is a nice change of pace from artemisia. I'm trying to power through the pollen.

Last weekend before I got sick I finished counting my charcoal. Now I just have to "analyze" the data - read: blackbox it. I don't want to talk about the black box. Ugh. This is supposedly for a semester project in the class I'm taking from my advisor this semester. Something I can do for that class and also incorporate into my thesis. Not a bad thing, but not too interesting either. I have a semester paper in my other class too, and at first I thought, "Oh, I want to do some more thesis research for that paper too, so I don't 'waste' any time this semester." Then I got to thinking, "How boring!" I like learning new things, and recently I've been realizing that I am really interested in something completely different. So for that paper, I'm focusing on something I'll really enjoy. It'll be a literature review paper instead of a data paper, but that's fine with the professor so that's fine with me. I feel much better for choosing that too, like I'm doing something I want with my time, not just trudging on to the final thesis product.

So I haven't had much time for blogging. I have also been "being pregnant" which is cool. I had an ultrasound last week which was super cool! I also started feeling my baby move around last week, which was also way exciting. I've been feeling it every day since then, and it's pretty cool. Other people can even feel it if they touch my belly - it's already that powerful! So, yes, thinking about mommy-hood is taking up some of my time.

To tell you all the truth, I also haven't felt too much like blogging lately. I don't have time to surf the net, so I don't find interesting newsy things to talk about, and I don't read all that many other blogs. Reading what happened to BotanicalGirl really made me sad too, and that put a wedge between me and my blog. There are some things I have been thinking about related to academia and my PhD (?) but I'm questioning whether or not to put them on here. My husband says I should, because we don't talk to a bunch of other people about our problems/thoughts on academia, so I should maybe get other feedback. But I'm leery about it still. Maybe the next time I get some quality time in front of the computer I will post about some of that.

no title

"If there is someone on your blogroll who makes your world a better place just because that person exists and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence on your blog."

The all-powerful 5 things meme

I haven't had the chance to post in a looong time, and then I get tagged by BotanicalGirl! Hehe!
Just so you all know, I've been counting pollen, not goofing off. But it really takes the time away from the blog-reading and the blogging!

Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1. Seeking Solace
2. StatGirl
3. ScienceWoman
4. BotanicalGirl
5. K

Then select five people to tag!
1. SithKnits
2. Rhyax
3. Soma
4. B
5. Where's My Tab?

What were you doing ten years ago?
Ten years ago I was in 8th grade. I don't remember a lot of specific events from then (is that bad?), but I had recently started playing the cello, which was awesome. I was really dorky in middle school though, so maybe that's why I don't remember doing a bunch of fun stuff...

What were you doing one year ago
One year ago I was writing grants frantically (well, maybe not frantically) trying to fund my master's research. I didn't write that many actually, only 3. And 2 out of 3 got funded, so I got all the money I needed. I was still trying to get used to grad school and a new place. The new place hasn't been easy. I think I'm still adjusting!

Five snacks you enjoy
1. Animal cookies! I eat too many of these.
2. Cheddar cheese. Yes, just a piece of cheddar cheese.
3. Pistachios.
4. Carrots and ranch dip.
5. Seedless oranges.
The funny thing is that most of these I have only recently been snacking on! Yay for pregnancy. A few month's ago I wasn't eating pistachios or animal cookies or just pieces of cheese. Huh.

Five Songs to Which I Know All the Lyrics
1. Ace of Base - The Sign. Heheh
2. The Beatles - I know lots of their songs...
3. Goo Goo Dolls - Fallin' Down
4. The Clash - London Calling
5. The Ramones - Rock and Roll High School

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Move away from here to somewhere I want to live.
2. Build a super-cool dream house there.
3. Buy a car that has a working speedometer!
4. Take a vacation, or two.
5. Save some both for "retirement" and my child's education.

Five Bad Habits
1. Saying "like" too much. I'm no 'valley-girl' but I do say it, and it makes me sound silly.
2. Slouching.
3. Not eating enough vegetables.
4. Being judgemental.
5. Watching too much Star Trek.

Five Things You Like Doing
1. Watching Star Trek. Heheh
2. Taking walks.
3. Hanging out with my husband!
4. Reading.
5. Sleeping.

Five Things You Would Never Wear Again
1. Two pairs of socks, layered.
2. A thumb ring. It's just not comfortable anymore.
3. A skirt that's too short.
4. Tapered-leg pants. I just can't stand them.
5. Jacket that is 2 sizes too big.

Five Favorite Toys
1. My sewing machine. I need to use it more, but I do love it!
2. My computer, with whatever silly games on it.
3. Our Gamecube.
4. Whatever book I'm currently reading. Now it is War and Peace by Tolstoy. I'm serious!
5. Pollen-slide making stuff and a microscope.

Passed

My comps are over. This means I get to keep working. Phew!

I'm finding it very difficult to write something now, because in my head I'm being sarcastic and you can't make a blog sound very sarcastic. I've tried before (I guess, I didn't try very hard) and text just doesn't come across as sarcastic. Too bad, because I'm a pretty sarcastic person. Oh well.

the before-comp weirdness

My comps are next Wednesday 9am. I'm still studying feverishly. Studying so much makes me forget to do simple things. I can't stand too much of it. My brain is so full of whatever that I am always behind or late or confused.

Anyway, besides that we heard our baby's heartbeat again yesterday. The doctor said it sounds very good. The ultrasound is scheduled in a month!

Comps studying

Ok, here I am studying for my comps. Actually taking a short break to write this post. I hope you all notice the La Nina post below. What might happen to you in a weak La Nina? Well, if you live on the Gulf Coast you will see it a bit drier than normal, and if you live in the northern Great Plains and Montana you will see it a bit cooler than normal (yay). In the Pacific Northwest it should be a bit cooler and wetter than normal. These things you can expect for the spring.

Anyway, I was going to write something about the daunting amount of reading I have piled in front of me. I realize it is not really THAT much. It could be worse. I have a binder devoted to climate papers - including Teton specific glacier stuff, other Rocky Mountain glacier stuff, ENSO papers, PDO papers, and decadal-to-millennial scale climate variability stuff. Then there's the geography binder (which is thin) and it has stuff on Western settlement geography, grazing history related to settlement, bioregional history stuff, and a little National Park Service historical geography. I've also read a few books which can't be in the binder. Then there is my vegetation/fire binder which is very thick and it has postglacial vegetation papers mostly from surrounding my area, Western US general veg history, charcoal methods papers, tree-ring methods papers and other tree-ring studies in my area, fire and climate stuff from the Western US, a source-area paper or two, and a copy of the Federal Wildland Fire Management Policy and Guidance Overview. My next binder is just as thick and includes all the papers we read in the Vegetation History class I took, and lastly I have an archaeology binder that includes some random papers of Jackson Hole archaeology and pages copied out of *the* volume on archaeology in the valley. Oh, and last but not least I have to go over my notes from my Quaternary Geology class and go over a glacial and Quaternary geology book to get my bearings in Quaternary geology again. I keep forgetting about that! Ugh!

I have to go over all the old papers I haven't read in a year or 6 months, and finish reading the geography stuff. I'm hoping for January 25th or thereabouts for the test. I think I'll be ready.

Cool climate stuff

NOAA predicts weak La Nina!
This is cool because just last week when we were in Jackson, WY, and a bunch of moisture was happening in CA and a bunch of fires were happening in OK, TX and NM, I was wondering if this year will be a La Nina or an El Nino. And, I'm studying up on ENSO for my comps, so I'm all into this stuff.

School, again

I hope everyone had a good holiday and that you all got a chance to do something you wanted to.

Today: back to school. Not really for me though, since I only have classes on Monday and Fridays. I am TAing though, so that all gets figured out this week.

I don't have much to say because my brain is packed with things for my comprehensive exam. I studied all break, and I'm still studying. I just really want to get them over with! Very soon. Then maybe I can concentrate on finishing. Heh, fat chance!

2nd doctor's appointment next week! Ultrasound is coming up soon.

No fitting title

A couple of hours ago my husband and I heard our baby's heartbeat for the first time! It was so, so incredibly cool. Wow.

Otherwise the doctor visit went well. I am not at high risk for anything. I am healthy. I've actually lost 5lb since my last visit at the beginning of November. I didn't have to have a pap, just a little bit of blood taken to test my thyroid. All is well.

Thanks!

Thanks for all of your congratulations! I'm excited about having a baby, but sometimes it's really hard to be happy and excited *at the moment*. Like when I'm sick or sleepy at 7pm, or when I can't cook anything because it makes me nauseous, or when I think about how different things are going to be! Silly. I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow, so I'll let you know how that goes.

I've decided that studying for comps will take precedence over counting pollen. Why? So I can get the darn test over with as soon as possible! Late January, probably. Which will be better than February because I think one of my committee members is going to be gone most of February. So, with a couple exceptions I will be reading constantly for the next month. I'm almost certain to fry my brain. But then, it'll be done!

I'd better start... I'll probably need a new eyeglasses prescription when this is done too!

Finally posting again

Yes, finally. After a loooong time. Sorry. I am finally done for this semester. This morning I had a 7am final. Actually, it was either 7, 7:30 or 8. I got there at 7:30. I was throwing up at 7.

Why was I throwing up? Well, I will tell you all now that I am pregnant. I got pregnant in October. Baby is due sometime around July 6. I don't know about any of you who have been pregnant in school, but the first trimester is killing me! I've been sick since week six. And I'm so sleepy! Sheesh. Somehow I managed to complete the semester. I'm so glad.

During break, we are going to visit D's dad and family for Christmas. We're leaving Christmas day again (we did this last year). It's fun though. I'm looking forward to Chicago. Then, just after New Years we are going down to Jackson for some more of my thesis research. This time we're going to hang out at the Historical Society in downtown Jackson for 3+ days. I'm looking for old photographs of any areas around the lakes I cored. I want documentation of land-use changes since settlement. At the Historical Society there are also documents and papers, journals, etc. So we've got our work cut out for us, but at the same time we get to hang out in beautiful Jackson in January, and we got a hotel for really cheap!

Then it's back to school. Over break I am also studying for my comprehensive exam, which will be sometime in Feb I think. My topics are: paleoecology, Quaternary history of the greater Yellowstone area, and settlement of the West and specifically Jackson Hole. I have to get on that settlement stuff, because I know nothing about it. I have a couple books already, and I have a list of papers that I have to get from the library. That's next Monday's project. Also over break I have to start counting pollen. I can't decide which is most important - studying or counting. I don't think I'll fail my comps, but I have to learn this settlement stuff and review everything else or I might do so bad they can't help but fail me. However, getting everything done is going to be a problem. I have to decide on a priority, and I haven't yet.

Everyone, enjoy your break (if you get one)! And do take a little bit of time off to appreciate the fact that you are alive. Happy holidays.

I made an age-depth model

Yes, this morning I sat down and made an age-depth model for the one core that I have fully dated. I did get those radiocarbon dates which I was waiting for to see how old my records are, and now I'm waiting on some 210 Pb dates from the tops of the other two cores. When you have both 14C and 210Pb dates from a site, you can put them together and make a pretty graph. So that's what I did. Here is that nice graph:
Isn't it pretty? I fit a 3rd order polynomial to the data (black line) which is the actual "model". Now I use that to make my charcoal data into a time-series. Then I can start doing all kinds of fun statistics on it. I am looking forward to getting my other lakes age-depth models worked out because one big thing I want to look at is possible correllations between lakes.

Shot day

Today was flu shot day. My husband and I both got them this year. I can't even remember the last time I had a flu shot. It must have been years and years ago.

Today was also nap-at-work day. Whew! I was so exhausted that I fell asleep in my chair for about 20 minutes. Then when I woke up I was all out-of-it. Needless to say, I haven't gotten much done today other than that flu shot.

I did grade tests, and I'm about to go get some dirt out of the oven and then go to class. I'm still way tired and just sluggish. I'm so glad the semester is almost over!

Well, well

Another week. I can hardly believe that Thanksgiving is next week! My husband and I are leaving on Wednesday for his mom's house. We're coming back the following Monday. Should be a nice vacation - if I could be assured of not being airsick.

The week after Thanksgiving I have a committee meeting that I have to prep for, and I have another presentation that week too. Ugh. At least the semester is almost over. I'm just looking forward to the break from classes. Yes, I have to work a lot over Christmas break, but at least I don't have to go to class at certain times. I'm getting really tired of that.

I have to go use the printer now to print some papers I need to read for class tomorrow. I completely forgot all weekend, and yesterday, so now I have to catch up. Yay. My brain is addled.

Long weekend!

I didn't realize until yesterday that tomorrow is Veteran's Day and that means no classes! No statistics tomorrow, yay! A long weekend will be nice. I don't know what we're going to do, but we'll do something.

I feel like I'm plodding along so slowly in my research. Now I'm supposed to finish by the end of June, and that doesn't seem plausible to me. I still have to count all the pollen samples, and then I have to do a whole bunch of data analysis, and write my actual thesis. I feel like maybe I could finish by then if I worked non-stop. But I can't do that. If I did I would just go crazy. Plus I still have to take classes next semester. Aargh! I'm a little worried about this. And I STILL have to go back to Jackson one more time to look at photographs. I don't even know how I'm going to work the photograph thing into my thesis. Yes, this week I'm supposedly "powering" through another round of thesis questions - so that I really can start writing my intro and methods and that preliminary stuff. I'm kind of stuck though. I guess I just have to sit down and think for a while - something I haven't had time for.

On a completely random side note, the strangest things can cheer me up. Just now, I was thinking about the above paragraph and looking at my desk when I realized that I still have these two fake rocks that are models of rocks on Mars. They're fake because they're not really from Mars and they're man-made. But they're pretty cool! That just made me a little bit happier.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone! Relax a little...

To do this week

I had a meeting with my advisor this morning to talk about the dates and the next step in my project. So now I have a list of stuff to get done by next Monday. It's kind of nice to have research meetings on Monday. Here it is:

• rewrite questions in proposal - to get ready to start writing actual thesis
• "play around" with 14C and 210Pb dates from one core and see if they can be correllated
• figure out a temporally equal sampling interval for pollen in all three lakes.
  

This stuff won't take me too long. Except maybe "playing around" with the dates. That one's a little weird. This week I have a lot on my plate though. I also have:

• doctor's appointment Tuesday
• car appointment Thursday
• haircut (!) Tuesday
• read for veg history by Wednesday AM
• statistics test in less than 1 hour

At least the test will be over 2 hours from now. Whew!

14C

I finally got my radiocarbon dates! Now I have to make sense of them. This can be a little tricky. My biggest problem? Two dates from the same centimeter (one bulk sediment and one macrofossil) came back different. Very different. Not even close to being within one standard deviation. This is the biggest problem. The others I can probably work out.

I feel extra busy right now. I need to really get cracking on my presentation for veg history. I'm giving it on the Wednesday after Thanksgiving. I'm also setting up a committee meeting, which I think I'm going to have the Friday before Thanksgiving. Now I have to get cracking on my thesis again. I guess I feel like I haven't been working on it much, because I haven't been writing or anything. Now I can actually start writing something, and be writing as I count pollen. Processing starts next week hopefully!

Now I have to eat my banana.

AM pollen

This morning I decided I'd better get my pollen samples ready for processing, since I need to finish up my thesis next summer. In order to do this I needed an actual physical accounting for each sample that I have. So, I went down to the refrigerator in the basement to grab my sample box. I had to transfer everything to a larger box, since I had some extra that wouldn't fit. While doing this, I spilled everything on the floor! Ugh. It only took me a few minutes to pick everything up. Sheesh.

I got to my desk and started an Excel spreadsheet for all the samples. It took quite a while to write in all the numbers, since I have hundreds of pollen samples. Once that was finished I got to choose which ones I will process. I chose every 7th for each core for the low resolution record. I haven't chosen a higher resolution portion yet, so I can't pick those samples yet. Total processing amounts to 61 samples for the low resolution record. Not bad. I don't know the time-resolution that the pollen will be yet; I'm still waiting for radiocarbon dates. Now I need to start processing and then start counting! It'll take a little bit to get used to counting pollen, but I learn that sort of thing quickly, and I don't see it taking too long. That's the last thing before real data analysis! Oh, plus the January trip down to Jackson to look at historical photographs. I'm looking forward to that too.

My advisor wants me to help the new grad student in our lab write her proposals. She needs to write one for the department, and for Yellowstone NP, and she's applying for the NSF graduate fellowship (which I did last year, to no avail). Apparently my advisor thinks I write much better than the girl does, and she wants me to "coach" her. I don't really know about my coaching abilities in writing. I've never actually tried to help someone write a long paper before. I've edited or put my comments on a few longer papers, but I'm not really sure how to coach someone! I'm not even sure how I learned to write well!

I do remember the first time I tried to write a scientific paper. It was the end of my sophomore year in college, and I was taking a very awesome field geology course. We had to map a different area every few weeks, and then analyze the maps and come up with a geologic history of the area and present it in a scientific paper. It was one of the best classes I took. I remember getting that first paper back with a very bad grade, and hence learning what NOT to do in a scientific paper. I guess since then it has gotten easier.

Nothing to write about

I'm trying to come up with something, but it looks like I won't make it.

I've got to count some charcoal this weekend. And make sure the rest of the data I've already collected is in order. Next week I have to really start scheduling a committee meeting. And several other things I've been putting off. I should have radiocarbon dates in a week.

Last weekend my friend Marianne and I made pumpkin pies. We made them from pie pumpkins, which is really fun! You just boil the pumpkin until it's soft and scoop it out of the skin with a spoon. Then blend it until smooth and use like you would canned pumpkin. Makes really yummy pies. We made 5, which took all afternoon.

Yet another new template

I just changed the colors this time. I couldn't even stand looking at all that purple! I hope this is more aesthetically pleasing. If you missed the purple, you're probably better off.

Veg history answer

Like I mentioned before, here is a post of an answer for my vegetation history class.  The question: Does history matter?  In other words, do we need to know about events in the past to understand the present?
     History matters.  We do need to know about events in the past to understand the present, but even more, we need to understand the past to understand the present, and the future.  Understanding sequences of events that shaped the past or variables that interacted to cause events in the past will help us better understand the present.  
     The diversity of the Amazon rainforest is a pertinent question that involves the understanding of history.  If we can understand what caused the Amazon to become so diverse, then we understand the present condition better and can possibly plan for the future.  Adams and Woodward (1989) assert that diversity is controlled by modern-day net primary productivity.  However, they state in their introduction that, “ differences in species richness between three northern temperate regions, Europe, eastern North America and eastern Asia, can be mainly explained in terms of present-day climate factors … without the need to invoke the historical explanation.”     They conclude that history does not matter, because strikingly similar patterns in the productivity-richness pattern occur on various continents, separated by vast oceans.  Therefore whatever happened in these various places in the past certainly did not make any difference in what we see there now.
     McGlone (1996) has another argument.  He argues that, “A close relationship between climate and species richness is observable only at regional scales and results mainly from the influence of glacial-interglacial climatic cycles in determining the regional species pool.”  In other words, McGlone refutes Adams and Woodward’s hypothesis by saying that it is important what plants existed on each continent in the past, and what happened to those plants as climate changed.  McGlone argues that both the plants you start out with and the type of climatic changes they have to deal with all help to give us our modern-day assemblages.  He also reminds us that, “Ecological and biogeographical processes work continuously through time, and the current situation must reflect past ecologies.”
     Another author who advocates for the past is Retallack (2001).  In his paper, Retallack poses a lofty argument that Cenozoic climate change was driven by the expansion of the grasslands and the co-evolution of grasslands and grazers.  Throughout his paper, Retallack argues that grasslands have the ability to control global climate by being carbon sinks, fertilizers, dehumidifiers, and fire starters.  Besides his point that grasslands are important to climate change, Retallack reinforces the argument that understanding history is important for understanding the present.  An underlying point of his paper is that we need to understand what caused the Cenozoic global cooling that lead to the recent ice ages in order to understand our present situation, and what might happen in the future.  
     Leopold and Denton (1987) use grassland development to make a strong argument that history is important.  They study the development of grasslands in western North America, and the differences between the Great Plains, Rocky Mountains and Columbia Plateaus grasslands through time.  They state that, “The biogeographic, physical, and climatic contrasts of these regions imply that their historical development must have been very different.”  In comparing the evolution of grasslands over the western U.S., they found stark differences between the three regions over time.  Their conclusion: the regions had to have something different happen to them in the past, and that past affected what we see in those areas today.  
     Lastly, Whitlock and Bartlein (1993) show that history matters in the paleoecologic record of the northern Rocky Mountains.  They conclude that vegetation and climate changes in the northern Rockies during the Holocene were due, at least in part, to changes in summer insolation.  Knowing things like this about the past can help us understand why conditions are as they are today.  

New template

I've finally finished a new template. PLEASE let me know if you think it is the ugliest thing you've ever seen, and if it will make you stop reading my blog. Purple isn't my favorite color, but I wanted a cool-colored blog. Something relaxing. But if purple will cause me to lose readers, then I'll change it. :)

I've been combating the sleepy bug today. It seems to happen especially on Friday afternoons. I have statistics class at 1, in a warm room, right after lunch. That always makes me sleepy, and it seems I can't shake it on Fridays. I had some LOI analysis to finish (crucibles to take out of the oven) after class today, and that seemed to wake me up a bit. I was seriously considering going home at about 3 and napping, but I'm still here. I'm hanging on as long as I can today. I think I will go to the physics colloquium at 4. It's a nice change of scenery. Today's talk is, "The Compact Light Source: A Miniature Synchrotron Light Source for the Homelab". Maybe I won't go.

In the interest of something scientific, my next post will probably be from one of the questions we had to answer in my veg history class. I'm finishing them up for Monday, and some are interesting questions. We're learning about ecology, but I"m sure you ecologists out there know way more than I ever will. Maybe it'll encourage thinking. Next time...

The Salt Lake story

I've been back from GSA for a day now, and I finally have time to write. Sciencewoman asked what my favorite talks were, and how the conference went in general. So here is the story:

The conference started Sunday morning, with the student breakfast at 7. We got to SLC on Saturday afternoon, so we had a bit of time to relax, which was very nice! Sunday noon I had a meeting - and I got a free lunch out of it! Sunday afternoon I looked at the paleontology posters, and I met a couple grad students in paleobotany. They were all very nice. Later Sunday afternoon my husband and I actually got together with one of my friends from high school, who is at BYU. That was fun. We walked around the city and looked at the Temple, and then ate some really, really good indian food. Mmmmm.

Monday morning I saw some paleontology talks. My favorite was "Comparison of museum and published relative abundances reveals a consistent publication bias" by Edward Davis. But other talks were also really cool, like Dan Peppe's "Magnetostratigraphy and megaflora of the lower Paleocene Fort Union Formation along the southwestern margin of the Williston Basin, North Dakota".

Monday for lunch my husband and I went to this quaint little tearoom and had sandwiches and tea. That's where I realized my email problem, and wrote my last blog entry. Later that afternoon I went to some talks in the "Causes and effects of the Paleocene-Eocene thermal maximum and other Paleogene hyperthermal events" session. I think my favorite from that session was Victoriano Pujalte's "Abrupt climatic and sea level changes across the Paleocene-Eocene boundary, as recorded in an ancient coastal plain setting (Pyrenees, Spain)". But all the talks were great. After that session I had another meeting, and then the grad students that I met on Sunday afternoon invited me to dinner with them. We had empanadas, which were yummy and cheap. Monday night there were alumni receptions, and my husband and I went to the "Rio Grande Rift" reception (it was all NM schools plus UTEP) and saw some people we haven't seen in a while.

Tuesday morning I went to more paleontology posters and talked with Lael Vetter (Spider) about her "The Gilcrease Ranch mammoth site, Las Vegas Valley". I had yet another meeting that morning, and another at 1. We left SLC at about 2 that afternoon.

I didn't go to talks the whole time, but the ones I saw were really interesting. I also really enjoyed talking with the people presenting posters, and meeting new grad students doing what I want to do. It was good all around, I think.

Now that I'm back I have to get my butt in gear! I have a 10 page paper and presentation to write by Thanksgiving, I have stats homework, and I have to get my committee figured out! I'm still waiting for radiocarbon dates so that I can figure out my committee and re-write my proposal. I'm not worried about the writing, that will go quickly. I am getting a little antsy about my committee, since I need to have a meeting this semester and schedule comps for late January or early February. Argh!

In the midst of silliness

I'm in the middle of GSA in Salt Lake City. Very exciting. Geologists EVERYWHERE! I came here to meet people doing what I want to do, and so far I have had one success.

I am one of the few left without a cell phone. So I told the people that I wanted to meet with that I would be checking my email often. I have been checking it fairly often, several times a day, but I seemed to not be getting anything! The webmail I am using from my university has recently been changed, so I was trying to use the new system. And just a few minutes ago I realized that I wasn't seeing new emails because for some reason, I wasn't sorting by date... *sigh* I had a couple of emails from the people I wanted to meet with, all suggesting times or places. One was this morning, which I completely missed because of my email faux pas. Oops.

Hopefully, all will work out well. Yesterday was really productive actually. My meeting went very well, and I *maybe* found some potential projects (PhD or just work, either is good). I have seen some great talks and met some really cool people doing cool things. I'm just a bit angry with myself for being such a dork. And, it is very difficult for me to just walk up to people and introduce myself, especially when they're talking to other people. I haven't got that level of self-confidence I guess. I'm learning to be more assertive though. It just takes some time.

Anonymous thoughts

BotanicalGirl has recently written a very thought-provoking post about anonymous blogging, and what or what not to write. This got me thinking a lot (as I'm sure it got most people thinking) about my own blog and how anonymous I am.

I've thought about this a little before. I changed my "name" to just K (before it was my first name). I don't have much in the way of a profile. I have made my geographical location clear in previous posts, and my university. I have talked about my department a couple of times, nothing very specific. I have talked a little about my research, but not in any great detail either. This is different for me than BotanicalGirl, because I'm not afraid of getting scooped, I just think it would bore all my potential readers to death! I try not to complain about specific things, such as university policies, my advisor, department, labmates, etc. Because I don't want them to find my blog and potentially read what I think about them, of course. So I try to keep that to a minimum. Except that I have expressed the fact that I don't particularly love my research and I'm looking for something new. But my advisor knows that already anyway.

Very few people I know personally read my blog. I think my husband reads occasionally, and my mom reads maybe once a month. My *constant* reader is my father-in-law (hi dad!). I really love the fact that he reads my blog on a regular basis. I love it because I know at least someone will read what I write (and that's always a good feeling). But I also love it because I feel that by reading whatever I write, he is getting to know me a little better, and with that I feel closer to him. We get along well already(which is fairly lucky I think), but we don't get to talk much, so this is a way of keeping mentally in-touch.

Sometimes I would like to post more about my research (when it is interesting), but I do feel like it is boring to the average reader. A few readers of BotanicalGirl's blog commented that they enjoy her more personal posts. I enjoy them too! I feel that we're all sort of getting to know one another in the blog-world, however anonymously. And it is always soooo nice to find out that someone else is going through similar things in their life. Whether you read about it on someone else's blog, or post something personal yourself and get comments, you're pretty much assured that someone out there can empathize. I love that about blogging. It's almost like group therapy. I know that sounds totally corny!

Getting things together

I spent this morning getting ready for my trip to Salt Lake city, where I'm going for the Geological Society of America conference. I'm not presenting a poster or giving a talk - I'm going to meet some people doing what I really want to do. I want to get to know more people in the paleobotanical field, maybe to find some PhD research or just other research in general. I'm really looking forward to this.

The weather should be nice for the trip too. My husband is driving down with me. It should be a nice break from school here, for a couple days.

Hooray!

More time-wasting quizzes! What else is the internet good for?
.

You Should Get a PhD in Science (like chemistry, math, or engineering)

You're both smart and innovative when it comes to ideas. Maybe you'll find a cure for cancer - or develop the latest underground drug.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

I just did something extraordinary

For me that is.

I was having a misunderstanding with my advisor. And what I did was clear it up right away. I told her exactly what I meant and what I was thinking. The whole story is too complicated for me to write right now, but the point is that I did something I haven't done before. I didn't let this thing stew in my mind, I just made myself clear. That was so nice. Now I don't have to be annoyed or angry or anything. Whew!

This weekend - two field trips to Yellowstone. Saturday it's for the Yellowstone class (that I'm TAing), and Sunday it's for the Veg History class I'm in. On Sunday Danny's going with, which I'm super glad about. And I rigged it so we don't have to core (which we've done enough times, thank you very much), but we're going to hike up on the hills above the lake they're coring and take pictures! Heheh.

Changes to comps

Right now in the Earth sciences department here the faculty are discussing changes to the comprehensive exams. Here at MSU, the graduate college requires all Master's students be given a comprehensive examination before graduation. Previously in the department there were significant differences between the "geology" and "geography" comps. Your distinction as "geology" or "geography" was based on your committee and your project. I've been struggling with this since I got here, because I don't really fit in to either. I would rather be a geologist, but I can't escape the fact that my research is much more geographical than geological. I'm studying the last 1000 years! To a geologist that's practically nothing. They would all probably laugh in my face if I told them I'm a geologist. And I've got no training as a geographer, I've taken one geography class in my whole life. The paleoecological research I'm doing is definitely on the line between geology and geography. So I'm actually relieved that they're changing the comps.

Now the comps are going to involve an agreement between student and committee on 3 areas of depth that the student will be tested on. These areas will most likely have a lot to do with the specific project the student is working on. This is probably a good thing for the geologists, because previously they could be tested on any facet of geology imaginable. Whatever the people testing them wanted to ask. And it wasn't just your committee, no, any geology professor in the department could come and ask you questions. Your committee decided whether or not you passed. It's also probably good for the geography students. They used to have to decide on 2 areas of depth with their committee. This meant you had to know those two areas in fairly great detail. So it might be better for them because now they have to focus on 3 areas a little more "lightly".

I think these changes are great. They're super for me, because now I don't have to worry about being on the line. I can just exist. That's nice. I think they're good for everyone else too. It just makes more sense. I'll be taking my comps in late January or early February. I still haven't solidified on a committee. I'm waiting for my radiocarbon dates. *sigh*

It is way too late for me

I'm sitting in the "physics library" at school with my husband who is frantically working on a quantum assignment for tomorrow (I think). He's been in here since 5. I've been here since 7. We're not doing so well. It's past my bed-time.

I want to write a really long complain-y post about the huge hole in our front yard. And about how I hate Bozeman. I feel like I'm the only person in the whole world who hates this place. People flock here! To ski! Or snowboard! Whatever! I'm really going to try not to write that though. I want to try to have a positive outlook.

I suppose I'll use the rest of the laptop batteries for looking for a new apartment.

Yay for time-wasting quizzes!

I just spent a few minutes taking these tests:


You are Schroeder!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a Social Liberal (66% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (30% permissive) You are best described as a: Democrat Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Something we don't think about every day

I was just talking with a professor who I want to be on my committee. I'm way behind on this committee thing, since one of my members dropped off last spring. I haven't gotten around to getting another member until now. But I've also been re-vamping my thesis.

Anyway, I had a lot of great things to say about my project, which is one reason I think maybe you shouldn't have to choose all members of your committee so early. I have a much better idea now of who'se expertise I might be able to use. So I think that I can use this woman because she is a biogeographer and she's studied modern climate in Grand Teton National Park where I'm working. As we were talking about my project and possibilities for research, she emphasized something that I don't usually think about. She said that my ideas for pulling lots of things together sounded super interesting to her, but more importantly it sounded like I was interested. She said it is great to have a thesis that you like and that you can get excited about. That way you actually work on it, and you can be interested in the outcome.

I know that some people probably keep this in mind most of the time. Especially those working on PhD's. Who could do a PhD without being interested? But right now I'm surrounded by uninterested people. The other grad student who actually has cores working in my lab is completely "over" her project. She's just in the data collection phase and she has so much data to collect that she hates it. She's forgotten about the big picture.

And I think I had forgotten a little bit too. Sitting around collecting data all the time isn't really that great. I got super excited when I saw my raw charcoal data graphed because I think it shows something really cool. That kind of got me excited again. And thinking about adding a couple facets to my project also gets me excited. I'm not particularly a fan of pollen analysis. That is pretty mundane to me. Sure, you can find out a bunch of cool stuff about past climate and how vegetation has changed over the past few thousands of years or more, but it's not my bag. I'm much more interested in my charcoal questions, and also the possibilities of thinking about how local climate controls the low-elevation lakes, and how people affected the whole landscape. I like variety, and this brings several things into my thesis for a nice variety. But I think I had forgotten that I have to make this project something I like. Even if it is just until it's done and I graduate, I have to like something out of it.

Teachers/ lecturers

What are some things that you out there think make a good lecturer (or university teacher)? I'm saying specifically "university teacher" because I think that they need different skills than high school teachers and elementary school teachers. So, what ideas have you got?

I pose this question because I know a few people who want to be teachers (both elementary level and college level). Some of these people I think would be absolutely wonderful teachers. Some I think would really stink at it.

I might actually have something interesting to write about...

The first purpose of this entry is to draw attention to my "nerd score"(bottom of sidebar). I just took this test that I linked to from Ms.PhD's blog. I did NOT expect to be a "High-nerd"!! Hmm. I suppose I'm nerdier than I thought. Oh well.

Now, there is something that I'm trying to figure out that actually has something to do with my research. For part of my thesis I'm looking at the macroscopic charcoal records from 3 lakes. My advisor has done this sort of thing many times before, so she knows how do analyze this type of data. I'm reading *the* paper on the CHAPS program (written by P. Bartlein at the University of Oregon), which is what we use to "decompose" the charcoal record into background and peaks. Supposedly this is the only paper published on CHAPS statistics, and there is of course the manual that goes with the program. I am reading this to hopefully become more familiar with the actual statistical calculations that go into the program. But I have found the paper a bit un-helpfull. (By the way, this is the Long et al. 1998 paper from the Canadian Journal of Forest Research).

I think I understand the methods, but I feel there is something missing from the paper. I wish that the authors would explain their statistical methods better. I said that I am reading it to become more familiar with the calculations they use. But they don't specifically talk about their calculations. They describe their statistics with words, and don't ever show any formulas. I think this is a poor way to get your methods across to your readers. I don't think that I could just read this paper and then do the same thing all by myself. I have someone who can explain it to me, and I have people that I can ask questions independently. But I think it is crummy as a methods paper because it doesn't really give you any methods.

My advisor even said, "some people say CHAPS (the program) is a black box, where you just put in your data and it spits out some statistics. " She went on to say that it is not simply a black box, but that "we" know what is going on inside. I don't think this is true. I think someone knows what's going on inside (namely Bartlein, since he wrote the program and he is pretty brilliant with statistics), but the majority of people who use it don't. I have seen a few talks about this type of data, and usually the speaker just says some things that sound nice, so it sounds like they know what they're doing, but if you ask them specific questions about their statistical methods and why they did some things and not others, they usually falter and can't answer. This is a bad way to do science. I feel that any scientist presenting something in a poster or a talk should be able to answer questions about their data! Even funny questions. You shouldn't have to say, "Well, I know that CHAPS does a locally weighted moving average, but I couldn't do it by myself, I don't really know how to do it." I'm not saying that you shouldn't save time by using programs written for your specific situation, I'm just saying that you should still know exactly what is going on, and why.

Rain and sleepiness

It is cold and rainy today. And yes, I'm sleepy. Mostly from sitting in a warm room right after lunch listening to a boring statistics lecture. Very difficult to stay awake.

Friday's are Physics Colloquium days! I love to attend physics colloquia, and I have since I was an undergrad. I am a geologist, but I have always found physics colloquia to be more exciting and interesting than your average geology or earth science colloquium. Why? I'm not entirely sure. Geologists and earth scientists tend to have good ways of explaining topics to a wide audience, and make their topics interesting. But I find I'm usually way more excited by the physics topics. If I go to the earth science colloquium I'm usually bored.

An example of a super interesting colloquium - when I was an undergrad a physicist gave a talk about the atmospheres of brown dwarf stars. It was so interesting to me because he was talking about models for the condensation of these atmospheres, and these models were very similar to models that igneous petrologists use to simulate crystallization in a magma chamber. I was enthralled and sitting forward in my seat for the entire hour. It was so exciting. (The funny thing about that colloquium was that I was probably the only one awake. All the physicists there were bored out of their minds).

Now, today's physics colloquium is:

Thallium atoms, diode lasers, and 'table-top' tests of fundamental symmetries.
By: Protik K. Majumder Department Chair and Associate Professor of Physics Williams College

I'm not sure if this one will be super interesting. But here is the one I missed (sob!) last week:

Did a Gamma-Ray Burst Initiate the Late Ordovician Extinction?
By: Adrian L. Melott, Department of Physics and Astronomy, University of Kansas

Gamma-ray bursts are the most powerful explosions known in the Universe. A GRB within our galaxy could have catastrophic consequences for the Earth. Extrapolations from the global rate suggest an average interval of a few hundred million years for events in which the Earth is irradiated from an event on our side of the Galaxy. The atmosphere would become heavily ionized, resulting in major destruction of the ozone layer, darkened skies and nitric acid rain.
Both the prompt UV and the solar UV resulting from long-term loss of the ozone layer are destructive to living organisms. The attenuation length of UV in water is tens of meters. There is a strong candidate for a GRB based mass extinction in the late Ordovician, 440 My ago. Planktonic organisms and those animals living in shallow water seem to have been particularly hard hit during this mass extinction.
(www.physics.montana.edu/news/seminars/Semfcollomain.htm)

When I found out I missed that one, I was quite upset. Cool topic! I love learning about things other than my specific field, which is probably why I love physics colloquia so much.

Being a "secretary" is hard

Especially when it's only a very part-time job! I'm working for a small lab on campus for ~10 hours a week. I started at the beginning of the summer to make some money, because all I had for the summer was 6 weeks of TAing for $1500. And I needed more money than that to live on. So I got this job, which is really cool. I'm continuing during school so that I don't have to TA full time. I'm TAing 2 hours a week, which sort of equates to a 10 hour a week job (because of prep time and grading and all) which is a 1/2 time TA. So I'm working another 10 as a "secretary". I'm not an actual secretary, I'm doing all sorts of weird things. I'm keeping track of money, but separately from the department accountant. I'm trying to keep things organized in the lab space, and I'm doing odds and ends for my boss. I like organizational work, so this job is fun for me most of the time. But it is hard as well. Especially today. I'm supposed to get all the paperwork from purchases with POs and the lab corporate credit card. Apparently this hasn't been happening. So if people don't give me their paperwork, I don't know what is going on. And when things don't work out, the department accountant calls me and yells at me. (Actually, she's really nice, but she seems like a witch and everyone is scared of her) And if I don't have any documentation, I can't help her. So she gets blacklisted somehow within the University purchasing system. Altogether not a good thing. So, being around for only 10 hours a week, it is difficult to communicate with all the lab employees and get them to follow my purchasing rules. And they all complain that I shouldn't be able to tell them what to do because I'm only a "secretary" and I don't know the first thing about engineering or whatever else.

Besides this, everything seems to be going smoothly. I just remembered that I have to talk to my department accountant and see the records of what has been spent out of my grant. It is not really my personal grant, but it is specifically for my master's project. We got some more money (a lot in fact), and so I want to go over the entire budget. I had to pay for radiocarbon dates (6 at $300 a date) and lead-210 dates (I don't even know how much those cost), and I paid a bit for field work this summer and over Labor Day weekend. But now that we have tons more money, I think I have plenty left for some lab supplies and another trip to Jackson in December, and maybe I might even be able to afford to pay myself for 10 hours a week next semester, so I can just work on my stuff and not have to TA at all! That would be cool. My advisor wants to go over the budget with me, and I want to go over it myself so we'll figure out what we can spend.

Dedicated to Tom (dad)

Well, yes, it has been a long time since I've posted. Last night I promised my father-in-law that I would post more. So this post is dedicated to him. Hopefully knowing that he's out there watching will help me keep up.

First of all, I haven't posted in the last few days because I have been getting stuff done! Since school has started I have been having weekly meetings with my advisor about my research. Right now I still don't know exactly what direction my thesis will take (arrgh!!) because I'm waiting for some radiocarbon dates. But I do have some cool and potentially exciting data! I will show some of that in a couple days. But, that is kind of exciting and I feel like I've been accomplishing something.

Yesterday I drove on a field trip for the Yellowstone class I'm TAing. We went to ... Yellowstone. But it was really fun. It was cloudy and cool and starting to look a lot like fall. Very nice. We saw several bison and several elk. Some of the bull elk had huge racks, and that was pretty cool. There is one more field trip for that class, back to Yellowstone, in October. Hopefully that one will be just as fun.

And I'm definitely going to GSA in October. I've already set up one meeting, and hopefully I'll set up more. I'm looking forward to meeting more people.

It's turning into fall!

Today is the first football game of the season here. And the weather matches perfectly. It is overcast and drizzly. Ahh, it is turning into fall. Fall is definitely my favorite season. It feels like it's coming a little early, but I still like it.

I made up my mind yesterday and registered for the Geological Society of America meeting this year in Salt Lake City, UT. I'm going for the purpose of meeting people in the field that I want most to work in. I'm in the master's program here, but I'm not doing what I want to be doing. And I think I could be. So, my tentative plan is to finish up my master's here and try to work on a really cool project with a real paleobotanist. This is my dream, I guess. So I'm going to GSA this year to meet with some paleobotanists and talk to them about their work, and other paleobotanical things. Hopefully I'll learn some things that will be useful when I'm done here.

Supposedly one of the professors here has some nice leaves that go along with a dinosaur dig. I would like to work on these leaves. I understand the fact that no one here wanted to accept me as a real paleobotany grad student because nobody here knows a thing about it, and I'm sure they would feel inadequate as advisors. But that is what I really wanted to do! I thought I made that clear in my application essay! Rrr. It's okay though, I'll work something out for my Ph.D.

Eh?

What's your favorite NASA mission patch? Mine is Gemini 4. So many are cool though! Talk about a dorky post...

Happy September

Here we are almost done with a week of school. Wow!

I have to say that I really feel for all the people in Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and all the rest of the places hit hard by the hurricane. It is all over the news. We listen to NPR in the mornings during breakfast and then while we're making dinner, and we have hardly heard any other news but hurricane news. The other day they were talking to someone from Idaho Falls who had decided, along with her husband, to drive down to the affected area and offer to take a family back to their home and house them for however many months it takes to rebuild. And others in their community were offering the same thing, and to enroll children in school and provide transportation and help out with food. I was just amazed when I heard this, and it made me feel really bad that I'm not in a position to do something like that. I would love to help out in a "real" way like that, instead of just donating some money or some blood (although blood is very important). I just feel like I'm sitting around hearing all this news and not doing anything about it! Being a grad student leaves you in a funny place in the community because you don't have a lot of time or money to help out.

I also feel guilty because it's sunny and nice here, and I'm going down to the Tetons this weekend for a day of field work. It's supposed to be nice there. Why should I get to do normal things when all these people's lives have been turned upside-down? Huh.